By Alison Greiner

When you get pictures developed from a social gathering, a family dinner, a friend’s birthday party or a wedding, whose picture do you look for first?

If you’re too busy looking for yourself in those photos to notice anyone else, you’re not alone.

Most people are tuned into WII FM—What’s In It For Me? If you are, it’s time to turn the dial.

It’s all about the “I”!
The New York telephone company conducted a telephone study to determine which word was used most often. The personal pronoun “I” was used more than any other word—a staggering 3,990 times in 500 telephone conversations.

In his book, What Life Should Mean to You, the famous Viennese psychologist Alfred Alder says, “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring”. Rereading and truly understanding this statement reveals the significance and power of what Alder is saying.
 
Show some interest!
Showing genuine interest in others can win the attention, time and cooperation of all people. As Zig Ziglar says, “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Having someone else in mind can play a significant role in your success. When you focus on what’s in it for you, you are forgetting about other people’s interests and feelings and can become selfish.

Studies have shown that a full 85% of your happiness in life comes from positive relations with other people, and only 15% of your success and happiness comes from achievement or external accomplishment. Too often we make the mistake of focusing on external accomplishment and recognition while neglecting our relationships.

Health and happiness
There is a direct correlation between your relationships and your health. You will have better health and more energy by being more happily and actively involved with people. Studies show that being involved in activities that create a sense of fulfillment—such as community involvement and enjoying positive relationships—can add several years to your life. Making an effort to improve your relationships will improve your life in all areas. Use your Goals Program to set goals in all areas of life so you can live a healthy, happy and balanced life.

Pat my back and I’ll pat yours!
The direct way to get someone to like you is to try to get them to like you; the indirect way is to like them. Dale Carnegie says “you can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” The Law of Indirect Effort says that you can achieve results indirectly by treating others the way you want them to treat you. If you want to be appreciated, appreciate others, if you want to be loved, love others, if you want praise, then praise others.

Every time you do something to make another person feel better, you feel better about yourself. Think of yourself as a set of booster cables. Everyone needs encouragement and a smile; it is a normal human condition. Make it a habit to be genuinely kind toward others. The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino, talks about greeting each day with love in your heart. Greet each day and each person you meet with a soft, silent loving approach. Make it a habit to think kind, cheerful and loving thoughts toward others. Open a door, lend a smile, pay a compliment—do whatever you can do to make others feel better, and you will make yourself feel important too! Following your Daily Life Improvement Checklist will score you on your positive habits helping you to reinforce giving and non-judgmental behaviors.